That was not Pita’s Daddy!
Movie: Man on Fire
Release Year: 2004
Starring: Denzel Washington, Dakota Fanning, Marc Anthony, Rhada Mitchell, Christopher Walken, Giancarlo Giannini, Rachel Ticotin, and Mickey Rourke
Quick synopsis: Little White girl from an affluent family in Mexico gets kidnapped cuz her daddy’s a BITCH forcing handsome Black magical negro to go burn down the town to save her.
Fucking Mickey Rourke.
It’s fun, it’s explosions, it’s fantastic camera work. Ridley Scott did the damn thing. Personally, I actually enjoy watching this movie, okay? But I’ve got beef with Samuel Ramos (Marc Anthony) and I’ll happily tell you about it in this hottake.
To paint a picture for you, Pita, played by Fanning is a precocious young girl who’s just trying to live her best life in Mexico. Though she’s giving California, she’s in tune with the comings and goings of her world in Mexico… to include the fact there’s a kidnapping ring that targets rich families, takes their kids, extorts money, and then return the kids with minimal damage.
Pita’s kidnapping goes wrong because this kid smuggling ring has dirty cops involved that get shot, which brings in more dirty cops who completely fuck the ransom and get Pita killed.
Meanwhile, she’s got a bodyguard, played by Denzel who’s finally learned to open up and let this little girl in, only to have her snatched on his watch. I mean, he puts up one hell of a fight, but it is inevitably unsuccessful as he’s outgunned in this “surprise” attack. The attack in question not truly being a surprise because mother fucking Ramos set that shit up!
Oh yeah!!!!!
Denzel refused to die until he gets to the bottom of what happened to the little bright spot in his world, come to find out, Pita’s father, Marc Anthony, arraigned for the kidnapping in the first place! None of this would have happened had he not agreed to have her kidnapped in the first place!
Who does that? What man is going to allow anything to happen to their kids if they’re involved?
I will tell you, not her bio dad!
Pita and her mother Lisa, Mitchell clearly have a close relationship and seem to be able to talk about all things on the young girl’s mind whilst her “dad” is more concerned about her having “the best” things. Living in an extravagant house, going to the best schools, taking piano lessons from the best teachers….
Piano lessons that he forced her to take, because HE KNEW SHE WAS GOING TO BE KIDNAPPED FROM THERE! He knew him and the wife was gonna be out of the way!
HE’S TRASH!
Look, I commend White women, at least the ones I’ve experienced here in America, for going out and making sure they baby got a daddy. But sometimes that shit backfires. He has a reason to make sure SHE is safe at all times, especially when you got that good good! But not all new daddies pay off.
On the outside, Samuel Ramos seemed to have it all, but then he started listening to his lawyer.
Fucking Mickey Rourke.
The second he began doing that, he decided to pull some mediocre American white man shit, and put his beautiful, loving, kind daughter in harm’s way to try to make a quick cash grab.
Like, explain to me how you were gonna get her back if you already made the decision to short the kidnappers? Did you have another plan that would have allowed you to turn that money over that fast?
I think the fuck not!
Personally, and this is just MY opinion, I think ol’ Samuel Ramos was gonna let Pita die, get that money, allow Mama Ramos to grieve, and then knock her up with a half brown replacement baby. I know that sounds terrible, but hey. He was the one listening to that white man who really just wanted the money for himself.
Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.
I’m just glad Denzel and Walken were out here painting masterpieces with bullets.
Also, special shout out to Rachel Ticotin, who played the tenacious reporter, and Giancarlo Giannini who was out here letting Denzel get that WERK in!
Cuz Sam Ramos wasn’t shit.
And that’s why he wasn’t her bio dad.
Fucking Mikey Rourke.
HOTTAKES
Quick synopsis: Little white girl from an affluent family in Mexico gets kidnapped. The kidnappers get double crossed and decide to teach the family a lesson. What no one understands is, she has a big Black bodyguard who’s about to get all up in that a**!
If you haven’t seen the movie yet, it’s called Man on Fire. It premiered in 2014, and stars Denzel Washington, Dakota Fanning, Marc Anthony, Rhada Mitchell, Christopher Walken, and Mickey Rourke.
Fucking Mickey Rourke.
It’s fun, it’s explosions, it’s fantastic camera work. Ridley Scott did the damn thing. Personally, I actually enjoy watching this movie, okay? But I’ve got beef with Samuel Ramos (Marc Anthony) and I’ll happily tell you about it in this hottake.
To paint a picture for you, Pita, played by Fanning is a precocious young girl who’s just trying to live her best life in Mexico. Though she’s giving California, she’s in tune with the comings and goings of her world in Mexico… to include the fact there’s a kidnapping ring that targets rich families, takes their kids, extorts money, and then return the kids with minimal damage.
Pita’s kidnapping goes wrong because this kid smuggling ring has dirty cops involved that get shot, which brings in more dirty cops who completely fuck the ransom and get Pita killed.
Meanwhile, she’s got a bodyguard, played by Denzel who’s finally learned to open up and let this little girl in, only to have her snatched on his watch. I mean, he puts up one hell of a fight, but it is inevitably unsuccessful as he’s outgunned in this “surprise” attack. It not truly being a surprise because mother fucking Ramos set that shit up!
Oh yeah!!!!!
Denzel refused to die until he gets to the bottom of what happened to the little bright spot in his world, come to find out, Pita’s father, Marc Anthony, arraigned for the kidnapping in the first place! None of this would have happened had he not agreed to have her kidnapped in the first place!
Who does that? What man is going to allow anything to happen to their kids if they’re involved?
I will tell you, not her bio dad!
Pita and her mother Lisa, Mitchell clearly have a close relationship and seem to be able to talk about all things on the young girl’s mind whilst her “dad” is more concerned about her having “the best” things. Living in an extravagant house, going to the best schools, talking piano lessons from the best teachers….
Piano lessons that he forced her to take, because HE KNEW SHE WAS GOING TO BE KIDNAPPED FROM THERE! He knew him and the wife was gonna be out of the way!
HE’S TRASH!
Look, I commend White women, at least the ones I’ve experienced here in America, for going out and making sure they baby got a daddy. But sometimes that shit backfires. He has a reason to make sure you’re safe at all times, especially when you got that good good! But not all new daddies are a catch.
On the outside, Samuel Ramos seemed to have it all, but then he started listening to his lawyer.
Fucking Mickey Rourke.
The second he began doing that, he decided to pull some mediocre American white man shit, and put his beautiful, loving, kind daughter in harm’s way to try to make a quick cash grab.
Like, explain to me how you were gonna get her back if you already made the decision to short the kidnappers? Did you have another plan that would have allowed you to turn that money over that fast?
I think the fuck not!
Personally, and this is just MY opinion, I think ol’ Samuel Ramos was gonna let Pita die, get that money, allow Mama Ramos to grieve, and then knock her up with a half brown replacement baby. I know that sounds terrible, but hey. He was the one listening to that white man who really just wanted the money for himself.
Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.
I’m just glad Denzel and Walken were out here painting masterpieces with bullets.
Also, special shout out to Rachel Ticotin, who played the tenacious reporter, and Giancarlo Giannini who was out here letting Denzel get that WERK in!
Cuz Sam Ramos wasn’t shit.
And that’s why he wasn’t her bio dad.
Fucking Mikey Rourke.
And if you’re wondering why I’m coming for Mickey, it’s not Mickey. It’s his character Jordan Kalfus (rough spelling) who is really the entire reason Denzel had to go all urban rambo in the first place.
Crazy work!
